A young man, formerly a self confessed “techno addict”, has renounced listening to dance music after shocking reports that his parents also like the genre.
“I just couldn’t believe it,” claimed 18-year-old, Martin White, pictured crying while his parents enjoy the new Gold Panda album with some kitchen dancing and white wine.
“I’d always loved techno, house, electronica, trip-hop…if it was electronic then it was for me. But then last week my world changed when I found some old Kraftwerk CDs in my Dad’s room. There was a drawer full of 90s dance records – Chemical Brothers, early Global Underground compilations. He even had Blue Monday on vinyl.”
“When I confronted him about it he just smiled happily and claimed that he hadn’t listened to it in years but that ‘maybe we should listen to it together, like father and son?,” Martin continued tearfully,” He even put his hand on my shoulder and there was sincere excitement in his tone and his eyes…..I’ve never felt more embarrassed and ashamed.”
Martin’s father Jeremy made attempts to reassure his son that his dad liking dance music was nothing to be ashamed of but that only complicated matters.
“I couldn’t understand why it upset him so much. I told him that I’d grown up with that music and was a bit of a raver back in the 90s. I thought sharing interests would bring us closer together but it’s forced us further apart. I even suggested going clubbing together,” explained Jeremy,” but he made me promise never to do that, ever. He was very serious about it.”
“I told him that most of his friends dad’s probably don’t even listen to dance music and that he should be happy that his father is ‘hipster’ and ‘with it’. But for some reason he cringed when I said that.”
“I’m never listening to dance music again,” wept Martin,” From now on I’m only going to listen to music that anyone with any musical taste couldn’t possibly listen to. Like Cliff Richard, or some X-Factor winner, or David Guetta.”
