Everybody who arrived by themselves to a nightclub on Saturday night was glued to their phones for the entire time that they were waiting for their friends to arrive.
Reports indicate that those people who arrived to the club alone were behaving “nervous and fidgety” as a result of being all alone in the packed nightclub with every last one of them choosing to play on their phones to alleviate “the boredom of waiting for your friends by yourself.”
“I arrived about an hour before my friends did,” explained 24 year old graduate, Kim. “I ordered a drink, found a seat and had a look around the place. I sighed tiredly after about fifteen seconds of boredom and popped my phone out.”
According to reports there were pockets of people hanging around laughing with friends while there were other people who were looking vaguely nervous that they were alone in a social situation. “You could spot the people who were there by themselves straight away,” claimed barman Sam Green. “They were the ones whose faces were lit up by the LED light from their phone screens.”
Kim claims that she spent the hour or so before her friends arrived “drinking inordinately fast and re-reading text messages and emails. I then spent about 35 minutes playing Angry Birds before my friends arrived to save me. At one point I made eye contact with a guy who was obviously there by himself. I thought he was going to try and strike up a conversation but when he just smiled sheepishly and returned his gaze to his phone I breathed a massive sigh of relief.”
Witnesses concluded that after the people in question friend’s arrived they immediately “put their phones away because they no longer needed it as a crutch but still managed to sporadically update Facebook with photos and status updates on how the night was going.”
