A young woman has had her Christmas cheer well and truly dashed after a chance meeting with a rather hands on Santa Clause impersonator.
Amanda Barnes was on a night out with work colleagues when the incident happened, “Me and some of the girls from the office were out enjoying a couple of glasses of wine after work when we came across a guy dressed as Santa sitting in a bar,” explained Miss. Barnes (22).
“Naturally we went over and started asking him things like ‘can we have a feel of your sack Santa?’ or ‘have you got any lollies for us to suck?’ just the normal sexual innuendos you get when a group of girls see a man on his own at a bar,” she continued.
“I was delighted when he asked me if I wanted to sit on his knee,” she said enthusiastically. “Keeping with the tone of our encounter I jumped on and started to gyrate and grind on his knee, it was all just a bit of good, old fashioned, clean fun,” she claimed.
“It wasn’t until the next day that I started to notice a bit of an itch in my crotch,” she continued apprehensively. “It got worse and worse so eventually I decided to go to the clinic and get myself checked out. It wasn’t good news. I’ve got crabs, I must have caught it off that prick Santa’s knee and now Christmas is ruined for me.”
Wunderground caught up with the Santa impersonator, who wishes to remain anonymous, to hear his side of the story, “Hahaha! She got crabs off my knee, serves her right the little cock teasing bitch,” he said with a smile.
“Getting pussy was the only reason I signed up for this bullshit, at first I was hoping to score some single moms who look at me as a positive male role model for their brat children,” he admitted. “But it’s hard to listen to those spoiled little fuckers all day with out telling them to ‘shut their fucking mouths’ so I quit.”
“I’m not even a real Santa anymore, now I just wear my suit to get drunk girls to sit on my knee in bars,” he explained. “I’ve had some really horrible sluts snail trail all over my legs so I’m not surprised she caught crabs at all,” he added through his fake beard.
“Personally I wouldn’t even touch my leg unless I’d been able to wipe all the scum off with some unsuspecting child’s bottom.”
