A young virgin has had the enlightening experience of being visited by the Archangel Gabriel during a recent party in her house.
Lucy Price (20), was entertaining friends while her parents were spending a weekend in the country when the incident happened, “I had a few of my friends over to my house to have a couple of drinks while my folks were out of town.”
“Someone brought an older guy who had some acid tabs,” explained Lucy. “I’ve never done anything like that before but I’d had a few drinks and I was feeling kind of brave so I decided I’d try one, plus he told me I could have one for free because it was my house,” she added.
“At first it was great fun but I started to feel a bit woozy after a few hours and I decided to go to bed,” continued the young woman. “That was when Gabriel came to visit me. It was totes amazeballs, he told me the meaning of life, unfortunately I forgot it shortly afterwards but I’m sure it was really interesting,” she recounted.
“He also told me that David Guetta was the solution to world hunger,” remembered Lucy. “He said his music was so horrible that it could cause even the most malnourished people in the world to lose their appetite.”
“Then he told me that I was ‘the chosen one’ and touched me with his magic finger. I presume he was talking about immaculate conception and the second coming of Christ,” added Lucy. “I can’t really remember much else about what happened apart from fact that Gabriel looked, sounded, acted and smelled a lot like the old guy from the party,” she naively continued.
“Now I’m a pregnant virgin, it’s just like the Bible only way more believable. I am contemplating naming my baby Jesus but I’ll probably go for something a little bit more contemporary like Jay Zeus.”
