A jobless alcoholic has today become a support DJ in what he sees as a clever trick to get free drinks.
“For most people the job of support DJ, offering as it does no monetary benefits besides free drinks, is a waste of time and effort,” explained habitual drinker Micheal Abbot, who got the idea to become a support DJ after witnessing friends struggle for years, being paid only in booze. “But for me, it’s almost the perfect job, revolving as it does around alcohol and places where there’s the possibility of more alcohol.”
Micheal, who became a DJ this morning after downloading a cracked version of Traktor onto his laptop and downloading the Beatport Deep House Chart, has already gushed that it’s the best job he’s ever had, despite him not starting til Friday.
“Most other jobs that I’ve had I’ve been forced to hide my drinking, usually in the toilet on Monday morning with a naggin of whiskey on the toilet bowl,” he explained, “but with this one I can do it openly and aggressively, it’s like being a sex addict and working in porn or being a drug addict and also being a DJ.”
“Another plus is that in other jobs I’d get paid in money which I’d then have to convert into alcohol in a supermarket or pub – with being a support DJ and getting paid in pints I cut out the middle man.”
“I don’t really mind if it’s thankless work and I’ll never really get anywhere doing it, I’m happy to just have the free drinks, which gives me an edge on the other support DJs who want to build an actual career.”
Read: DJ Accidentally Unplugs Life Support Machine While Setting Up Traktor
More: Jealous Support DJ Kicked Off Stage After Playing “Overly Banging” Warm-Up Set
