The world’s favourite animatronic dick faced dingbat, Anklepants, has reportedly lost his chin to testicular cancer.
Anklepants, no tot be confused with a pair of ill-fitting trousers, underwent an emergency orchiectomy in Berlin’s St. Joseph’s Hospital late last night.
“It was a strange procedure,” explained Dr. Flick Nutsöff during a chat with Wunderground. “Usually people’s balls are in their groin but in Mr. Anklepants’ case they were buried deep in his chin. We had to completely remove his entire lower jaw but thankfully the procedure seems to have been a complete success.”
“Obviously the fact that he no longer has a chin or mouth will be upsetting for Anklepants but, had he not noticed the lumps on his chin, things could have been a lot worse,” continued Dr. Nutsöff. “He will have a little difficulty eating, although looking at him I’m not sure that he eats in the conventional manner. I’d imagine he probably shoves his food up his arse or something along those lines.”
According to Anklepants’ manager, Sleeveless Top, the “music” producer is in good spirits following his operation.
“He’s fine, still a little bit drowsy but we’re very hopeful he’ll make a full recovery,” confirmed Mr. Top. “He was quite lucky really, he only noticed the lumps on his nuts while stroking his chin when listening to some really obscure techno. Thankfully the cancer hadn’t spread and we were able to get it early.”
According to Dr. Nutsöff, men have their balls in their hand at least fifty times a day and should take at least one of these opportunities to check for lumps and abnormalities to ensure any cases of cancer are caught early.
