Austrian meat puppet turned American politician, Arnold Schwarzenneger, reportedly left a party early last night but before making his exit he made the ominous promise that he’ll be back.
The Terminator actor is believed to have been at a party, which is still ongoing, celebrating Bruce Willis’s sixtieth birthday with a group of Hollywood action heroes when he made the impromptu decision to leave.
“It’s a really great party,” mumbled Arnie’s friend and actor Sylvester Stallone between slurps of mojito. “I don’t know why Arnold decided to leave early but he said he’ll be back. He’s always doing that, usually he just bursts straight back in with a leather coat on and fondling a mini-gun, but this time he actually has left.”
“Action heroes like us are always doing little throwbacks to our movies like that,” continued Stallone, whose face appeared to be melting in the heat of the party. “I run up the step of the Philadelphia Museum of Art at least once a day and Seagal is inside telling everyone he’s just a cook. It’s what we do.”
Mixed reports from inside the party suggest that Schwarzenegger may have gone to pick up a special surprise gift for Willis, in the form of his estranged wife Holly and their kids from the Die Hard movies, while others believe he was going to give him some clothes, a motorcycle and a pair of boots.
“Hopefully he’s back soon,” claimed birthday boy Bruce Willis. “Jamie Lee Curtis’s strip is just about to start, he’ll be devastated if he misses that.”
At the time of going to press Mr. Schwarzenegger had yet to return to the party, although he is expected to be back sooner rather than later after Liam Neeson left the party to find the missing guest.
