Heinz To Release Limited Edition Ket-chup
The H. J. Heinz Company, also known as Heinz, has announced it is to release a limited edition range of their world famous tomato Ketchup, which will include popular party drug ketamine
Man Using All His Best Chat Up Lines In Nightclub Goes Home Alone With Kebab
A man using all of his best chat up lines and pulling techniques whilst on a night out with the lads has gone home alone with a kebab, it has been revealed.
NHS To Set Up “Ibiza Blues” Winter Rehab Clinics
The National Health Service (NHS) is set to launch a host of winter rehab clinics for people suffering with “Ibiza blues” – believing it can provide coping mechanisms for anybody failing to
Girl Fine When Taxi Arrived At 11:00 Desperate For Wee 2 Minutes Later
A girl who claimed to be “fine” and “ready” when her taxi arrived at 11 o’clock was found to be “desperate for a wee” at 11:02. Twenty three year old Sabrina Smith,
Man Who Went For 1 Drink Found Topless In Rave At 7am
A man who told his wife he was “popping out for one” was found out off his nut with no top on, at a rave, at seven a.m. the following morning. Steve
Group Of Fresh Faced Lads Refused Flight Home As Security Claim They Haven’t Done Ibiza Correctly
A group of fresh faced lads have been refused a flight home from Ibiza after security claimed they clearly hadn’t done the island correctly, prompting security alerts. Onlookers were left “in stitches”
Parents Constantly Posting Baby Photos To Facebook Assuming People Care
Recently new parents, James and Michelle Harding, have uploaded more than one thousand photos of their “beautiful baby boy”, Zane, to Facebook and Instagram, under the assumption their friends are interested. Described
Grace Still Won’t Admit It’s Over
Legendary DJs Paul Oakenfold and Steve Osborne, who formed nineties dance act Grace, are still refusing to accept it’s over, according to reports. Having released the dance floor anthem Not Over Yet
Girl Who “Can’t Handle Raves Anymore” Still Drinking 5 Nights A Week
A girl who claimed she “can’t handle raves anymore” but still gets drunk five nights a week is believed to have “confused” members of her friendship circle. Sales executive Molly Hopkins, from
My Chemical Romance Become Deep House Act Following Summer Getting On Ket
Emo super-group, My Chemical Romance, have released an official statement confirming they are to go forward in music as a deep house act, following a spiritual awakening in Ibiza this summer. The