A girl who claimed to be “fine” and “ready” when her taxi arrived at 11 o’clock was found to be “desperate for a wee” at 11:02.
Twenty three year old Sabrina Smith, from Surrey, England, is said to have been “non-stop complaining” throughout the full forty five minute journey to a festival she was headed to with friends, at one stage making threats to the driver that she would “piss her pants” if he didn’t stop the taxi for a wee break.
“I don’t know what came over me,” Sabrina told us. “I went to the toilet at half ten, quarter to eleven and again at five to eleven so I must have been completely empty. Two minutes into the journey I was literally hanging for a piss. It felt like my bladder was the size of a baked bean and I had consumed a fucking ocean. I was so desperate.”
“I have no idea how or why this happens, it’s like an unexplained phenomenon,” continued Sabrina. “Like that bloke who got hit on the head and went from thicko to maths genius or that fella who woke up from a coma and spoke a different language. I’m the girl who needs a wee the instant I get in a taxi. Maybe I should contact someone about this?”
Wunderground contacted Harvard University and spoke with Dr Zara Khan, of the Unexplained Human Behavior Department, to find out if there has been any other reportings of this type of behaviour, “Fucking loads,” she told us. “It’s common amongst ninety eight percent of females around the world, they will need to go to the bathroom within ten seconds of getting a lift somewhere, regardless of if they’ve been or not.”
“We conducted a test just last year which involved a woman going seven weeks without fluid,” continued Khan. “This test subject went seven weeks, so forty nine days, without fluid and was as close to dehydration as a person can get before death. We then delicately moved her into a taxi and told her she had a half hour journey ahead of her. Seventeen seconds in, she pissed out three pints of urine. She was too weak to ask the driver to pull over, but she managed to find a bucket load of wee. What a victory for science.”