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Dutch EDM wunderkind Martin Garrix is reportedly outraged at his parents for lying to him after the posterboy’s mother revealed that Santa Clause doesn’t exist. Reportedly locking himself into his dressing room,

DJing equipment manufacturers, Technics, have today unveiled their latest turntable – a CD-less, USB-less and vinyl-less deck that just sits there starting debates. Technics, long the bastion of vinyl only mixing, have

A shocking survey published today has revealed that a whopping 90% of DJs have slept with your Mum. Citing the fact that your Mum is a “fine thing” and that tattoo-clad, bearded

Peckham’s favourite market trading duo DelBoy & Rodney Trotter are set to return to the nation’s screens this Christmas for a gritty Only Fools & Horses special which will see the duo

People over the age of 65 who are knocking tentatively on death’s door, perhaps with a cane or withered hand, are expected to have drugs legalised for their use because “they’re going

A source close to the EDM industry has today claimed to have uncovered the real reason why DJs perform heart hand gestures during their shows. “I was working as a sound tech

U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron has been rushed to a London hospital this evening after breaking his ankle while attempting a cretinous dance move at a suburban youth club. The politician, famed

An up and coming techno DJ who is unfortunately cursed with a face like Mike Ashley’s twin sister and a gut described as “equatorial” has decided to trade solely on a quirky

In a daring early morning raid police have arrested America for its part in the murder of dance music. Police from several European cities including Ibiza, Berlin and London, were alerted to

More news has emerged from Australian EDM tanned gimp fest, Stereosonic, claiming that the festival has drained the entire world’s supply of anabolic steroids and creatine. Police and observers in the medical