Martin Garrix Tearful After Mother Reveals There’s No Such Thing As Santa
Dutch EDM wunderkind Martin Garrix is reportedly outraged at his parents for lying to him after the posterboy’s mother revealed that Santa Clause doesn’t exist.
Reportedly locking himself into his dressing room, which he request be covered in posters of his heroes One Direction and Pikachu. the 18 year old DJ began to compose a song to commemorate his betrayal – a nursery rhyme sounding anti-Santa tirade called Stop Believing – which reportedly sounds “like an abrasive Christmas Carol set to the melody of Don’t Stop Believing made using the farmyard notes of Animals“.
Martin refused to speak to Wunderground and was sent to bed without his dinner until he “calmed down else risk being sent to the naughty step permanently” but his doting mother took some time out to briefly address her lies.
“Santa isn’t real, he’s just another unreal mass delusion that people have fallen for like Bigfoot, the stock exchange or David Guetta’s credibility,” she explained. “The sooner Martin stops living in a candy coated fantasy land the better.”
Martin’s mother claims that she was left with no choice but to reveal to Martin the true nature of Santa after he requested that the fictitious Christmas character appear on stage with him at one of his shows.
“The only Santa I could get at short notice was Tiesto but his implacable Dutch accent and ice cold demeanor didn’t work with the role and Martin soon discovered the ruse,” she explained. “Looking back on it now I should have gotten Steve Aoki…he might not be a DJ but he’s a fantastic actor.”
Garrix’s mother explained that, as a DJ, Martin lives in a perpetual bubble of delusion which often make it difficult for him to process things not going his way at the click of a finger.
“The bubble burst in that moment when he tried to sit on Tiesto/Santa’s lap,” “His heart broke just as the drop was coming in on Animals. I knew at that moment when he didn’t smile and fist pump for his adoring audience of morons that something was really wrong.”
The young DJ reportedly cried one solitary tear, removed his Santa hat, called everything a lie and ran to his dressing room where he is still refusing to speak to anyone.
“Hopefully he’ll calm down soon,” she concluded. “He reacted in much the same way when I told him that Maarten Vorheik wrote most of his favourite tracks and not the advertised artist, but he calmed down after that. He even went on to work with Maarten so there’s hope.