A recent study has found that your bag of drugs is always in the last pocket you check.
The study, carried out by the Society of Lost Drugs, confirmed that all unlost drugs are usually in the last pocket you check, although in some instances may be located in “safe place” away from all pockets.
“These results are pretty definitive,” claimed chief researcher Ricardo Villalobos. “In nine out of ten cases, where bags of drugs weren’t lost beyond finding, we found that they turned up in the last pocket their owners checked. In the other one out of ten cases the drugs turned up in a pocket that simply hadn’t been checked properly the first time or a super safe place, like behind a picture frame or under a clock.”
Villalobos, who claims to have once found a single grain of cocaine in a haystack, also claimed that losing your drugs is a state of mind rather than a physical thing.
“In most cases, people who have lost their drugs have actually just temporarily lost their mind,” explained the DJ, who claims to have lost and found more drugs than the average person will consume in their entire life. “Usually, once the drugs have worn off a little, lost drugs turn up in a pocket.”
According to the Society of Lost Drugs, there are three key steps to finding drugs, “The first, and most important, thing is to stop taking drugs until you’ve located the missing bag or are convinced that it’s actually gone. Secondly, stay calm, no one has ever found drugs by panicking. And last of all, don’t go accusing anyone of stealing them, they’re probably in your pocket, theft accusations will only lead to a negative atmosphere and possible fights.”
Non drug taking experts have claimed that the drugs will always be in the last pocket you check because you would have no reason to check other pockets after finding them, although, they’ve clearly never had to search for a baggie the size of a pea eight minutes after a large line ketamine.
