After a night spent boozing and frantically searching their phones for “someone who’d still be up and deliver”, the Leicester City players have decided to prolong their title winning party by having bags of cocaine delivered to Jamie Vardy’s house.
Leicester’s cocaine dealers were put on “red alert” last night after Tottenham Hotspur threw away a two goal lead against London rivals Chelsea, handing Leicester their first ever Premier League title and driving demand for cocaine up by over six thousand percent.
Wunderground spoke to club captain Wes Morgan earlier this morning, “This really is the best feeling in the world,” confirmed the center half. “My wedding day, the day my first child was born, the day I signed my first professional contract, they can all go and fuck off mate, this, right here, is what it’s all about. We just don’t want this feeling to end so, as the club captain, I made the executive decision to order a few bags in and keep the party going.”
“We’ve to be back in training at ten a.m. on Wednesday so we’re not going to get too mental,” claimed Morgan. “We’ll probably just order two or three ounces to make sure we don’t run out out of steam, just like Tottenham’s title challenge. Chat shit get sniffed.”
According to sources, cocaine is now being imported into Leicester from neighbouring cities, such as Nottingham and Peterborough, to fuel the title winning celebration across the city.
