A recent study has revealed that owners of Beats by Dre are the UK’s worst victims of advertising; showing that consumers spend one hundred and fifty times more than the “basic” headphones are actually worth.
Described as “overpriced” and “a bit fucking cringey” by anybody over the age of eighteen, owners of Beats by Dre topped the likes of Bootea drinkers, Veggetti users and Range Rover lease holders, who also came close to being recognised as the “biggest fucking morons on earth”, to take the accolade.
“The marketing experts behind those headphones have really done a job on UK punters,” laughed Keith Stroud of the Victims Research Unit (VRU). “I assume somebody from TOWIE or Made In Chelsea had some, which prompted eighty four per cent of the nation’s population to follow suit. It is quite sad that advertising and product placement features so prominently in the lives of regular people.”
“Most people appreciate that Sony, Technics or Bose produce a better standard of headphone but still opt for Beats because of the name,” continued Keith. “I guess that is the world we live in. If some Z list celebrity has it, then it must be bloody cool. No adult should own them, but that said, no adult should drink Bootea thinking it will miraculously make them slim, but they do.”
Wunderground spoke to Kyle Rose, a thirteen year old Beats by Dre owner from London, England, “I love my beats,” he told us. “I saw all the older kids with them so knew I had to have them or risk looking stupid. I can’t really tell you about the sound quality or if they were expensive, as I am only thirteen and my mum got them for me, but I can tell you that every kid in my year has got them, so they must be brilliant.”