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September 10, 2016
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Bedroom DJ Rips Fabric Of Time By Playing Big Room Tracks In Little Room

A bedroom DJ has reportedly ripped the fabric of time by playing a selection of bigroom tracks in his little bedroom.

Doomsday scientists believe that DJ Mark Swallows’ error could have set in motion a series of events that could ultimately result in the destruction of Earth and the end of all life.

According to witnesses a “giant black void” appeared above Mr Swallows’ house shortly after he played “Martin Garrix’s latest big room banger” creating a vortex and eventually sucking the house and garden into it and compressing them into a single microscopic atom.

Mr Swallows, who managed to escape moments before the void consumed his house, had this to say, “I had no idea my actions were going to lead to such a catastrophic event. If I had of, there’s no way I would have been mixing Calvin Harris and Martin Garrix, I would have played something shit, like David Guetta or Afrojack.”

“I just hope that someone can reverse the effect of what I’ve done,” said a concerned Swallows. “My mum will be really pissed off with me if I’ve destroyed the universe. I probably won’t be allowed to use my decks for at least two weeks if I have.”

Wunderground also spoke to Mr Swallows’ neighbour Lance Bridcut, “I always knew that little prick was a menace to society but I never thought he’d be responsible for the end of the world. The void’s still there and it’s getting closer and closer to my house. Something really needs to be done about it, we can’t just ignore it like it’s testical lump or a retarded cousin, it’s going to get a lot worse very quickly.”

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