A recent survey carried out on DJs has revealed that bedroom DJs are one hundred percent less likely to pull birds than club DJs.
According to the survey’s results, normal factors like age, looks, or personality don’t matter when looking at DJ pulling patterns, however, things like venues, paychecks and slot times are much more important.
“DJs generally pull quite a lot of birds, it’s one of the many perks of the job,” explained scientist Peter Rafferty. “The most important thing for a DJ, when it comes to pulling birds, is to make the transition from the bedroom to the club.”
“We found that the pulling success rate for ‘bedroom only’ DJs was close to zero percent, while club DJs enjoy a far more fruitful success rate,” continued Rafferty. “In some extreme cases, we found that club DJs were involved in sexual acts before they had even left the DJ box.”
Bedroom DJ Nigel Banks claims to be happy with his sexual exploits despite not taking advantage of his DJ status.
“I’ve been a bedroom DJ for about the last eight years or so,” revealed Banks earlier. “It’s alright, it doesn’t really help when trying to pull birds because I’ve to get them into my bedroom before they even know I’m a DJ.”
“To be honest, it’s not really a problem because as a bedroom DJ I’m never too far from my bed so a wank is nearly always on the cards. Plus I use a laptop so I’ve constantly got porn at the tip of my fingers. I’m probably getting more action than any of those club DJs, even if it is with myself.”
According to the survey club DJs are also one hundred percent more likely to get drunk, get paid, have fun or catch an STI, while bedroom DJs are one hundred percent more likely to fall asleep mid mix, mix while eating dinner and scratch with their penis.
