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October 21, 2016
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Bindi’s were a “cringy fad” claims girl with fake septum piercing

A girl has been overheard criticising Bindi’s, accusing them of being a “cringy fad”, despite having a fake septum piercing in her nose.

Twenty three year old Shakila Onwar, from London, England, is said to have been absolutely slaughtering the “Bindi craze”, which swept over the UK recent years; referring to it as “hideous” and “embarrassing”.

“Fashion changes all the time but there’s no excuse for ninety nine percent of girls to wear fake Bindi’s to raves,” moaned an obviously disgruntled Shakila. “There’s no originality in them. What was started as a tradition by Hindu women was stolen and quickly turned into a monstrosity for all basic white girls. It was icky and embarrassing. I’m proud to say I never wore one. I don’t follow trends, I like to do my own thing.”

Obviously seeing the irony in Shakila’s comments, Wunderground asked her why she had a fake piercing through the septum of her nose “It looks unique and beautiful,” she replied. “You don’t see many people with this piercing, especially in the rave scene. I think it highlights my eyes and is quite striking. I don’t think I’ve got the courage to pierce it properly though, so keeping it as a fake fashion accessory is good enough for me. I can’t wait to go to Ibiza next summer, I think it’ll get me lots of attention. I can’t imagine many people out there would have seen a septum piercing before; real or fake. “

Wunderground managed to speak to John, a bull living on a farm in Ipswich, “That girl is a fucking skanky bitch for stealing my style,” he furiously told us. “She said girls ripped off the Hindu style by wearing Bindi’s? Well she has absolute stole the one thing which sets us apart from our lookalikes, cows, the nose ring. If I ever see her in the streets of Suffolk, I’m going to rip it fresh out of her face, the cunt.”

Nathon Woodhead

Nathon Woodhead

Too old to go to raves, too young to retire from them. Where does that leave me? Writing for Wunderground.

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