A nightclub bouncer has been left shocked and extremely embarrassed after discovering a man actually pooing in a toilet cubicle.
Jimmy “Tiny” Dawson, a senior security officer at Scarborough’s Bacchus nightclub, has expressed his “sincere apologies” to clubber Martin Allen who was disturbed while using the nightclub’s bathroom facilities.
“Ninety nine percent of the time, when someone’s in one of the cubicles they’re up to no good,” claimed the ironically named Tiny earlier today. “Generally speaking, we’ll give them a couple of minutes to do whatever it is their doing, but if they take longer than that we’ll have to go in and hurry them along.”
“This lad, on Saturday night, had been in there for at least five or six minutes and there was a bit of a queue starting to form in the toilets so I decided I had to take action,” continued the bouncer. “I could hear talking inside so I gave him a knock and asked politely if he could ‘open the door’, when he shouted back ‘I’m taking a shit mate’, I thought he was making a mug of me and I hate it when people do that, I just saw red and put my boot through the door.”
“To my shock he was sat there, pants around his ankles and talking on his phone,” revealed an embarrassed looking Mr Dawson. “Then, the smell of shit hit me and I knew he’d been telling the truth all along. It was horrible for everyone. The queue had turned into a crowd and everyone was laughing. I’m really sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin his night.”
Mr Allen has since claimed that he will not be returning to Bacchus nightclub at any point in the near future after the embarrassing incident.
