Breakfast Rave “Morning Glory” Accidentally Raided By Drug Squad In Special K Cereal Mix-Up

London’s early morning rave-workout, Morning Glory, was this morning accidentally raided by the London Police Service after reports claimed that there were large amounts of party drug Special K, or ketamine, being consumed on the premises.

The early morning rave, a hangout for thirty-something and aspirational former sessioners to don yoga pants and enjoy a sweaty rave-like experience before work, had its door kicked in by members of the elite drug squad unit at roughly eight this morning when an undercover officer mistook chatter about popular women’s breakfast cereal Special K as a coded reference for popular party drug ketamine.

“This morning members of the drug squad, acting on false information, mistakenly raided the premises of Morning Glory in Shoreditch which, unbeknownst to us, is not actually a real rave but rather a glorified work out class,” explained Chief Constable David Winters. “One of our officers heard what he thought were repeated coded references to street drugs and for that reason we decided to enter the premises and conduct a search.”

The officer in question has not been named at this time but a leaked report claims that some of the drug slang he heard included Special K, Golden Grahams, Muesli and Coco Pops which, according to a police spokesperson, are common names for ketamine, 2CI, weed and cannabis.

“We’re aware now that those are varieties of breakfast cereals,” explained the contrite officer.

Witnesses claim that they were enjoying the harmless, brightly lit workout-rave over some delicious bowls of cereal, scones and tea when drug officers burst in the door and began searching everybody for Special K.

“I was tucking into my third bowl of healthy and nutritious Special K when suddenly an officer burst in, pushed me onto the table and handcuffed me,” wept one witness. “After I finished my final mouthful I thought to myself ‘I’m never going to lose the weight like this’ and decided there and then not to bother trying.”

Other witnesses suffered similar searches and intrusions from eager police who became increasingly flustered with the lack of drugs on the premises.

“They started turning over boxes of cereal and screaming ‘where’s the Special K,'” recounted one terrified witness. “I kept saying ‘there it is, in your hand, your spilling it everywhere’ but he just kept on shouting in my face. Eventually he read the box and realised his mistake. He tried to help me put the cereal back into the bag but sadly by that point the freshness was gone and most of the flakes were crushed to dust.”

“In our defence they were playing rave music and dancing at 7 in the morning so naturally we thought it was an all night drug fueled rave party,” explained the Chief Constable using all the latest Daily Mail slang terms. “To use a bit of complex police vernacular – there’s no smoke without fire.”

“It’s a disappointing morning for everyone involved – they were expecting a morning workout in a neutered, sad facade of a rave and got police harassment. And we were expecting an actual rave,” concluded the Chief Constable. “But what we got was a glorified exercise class – sort of like an Eric Prydz video except its not hot women in what can’t possibly be real workout clothes but people who genuinely want to lose weight by dancing to an Italo house remix of S Club 7 Reach and sweating on each other.”