Calvin Harris has today announced plans to open an online women’s underwear store. The announcement comes just a week after the Scotsman was named fourth in Forbes’ list of the world’s richest celebrities under thirty.
Here’s what he had to say, ‘It’s an idea I’ve been playing with for a while now but when I seen the Forbes list it made up my mind. I mean can you believe Justin Beiber has made more money than me? I don’t really care about Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift because I can’t compete with a pair of tits but Beiber, I mean come on, seriously?’
‘For years now I’ve been collecting up to two hundred pairs of pants after every show I play, we’ve been sending them off to be turned into fishing nets to support fishermen in parts of the world where they don’t even know who Calvin Harris is, what’s the point in that? Now I’ll be able sell them on the internet and make more money so I can get above that little, pimple faced, Canadian poof on next years list!’
Harris is believed to be aiming his store at two very specific consumer groups. One will be young women who want to buy clean second hand designer underwear at a reduced price. The other will be at pathetic middle aged men looking to buy the worn underwear of attractive young girls.
