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October 25, 2013
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Canon To Release Camera That Photographs Sound

Photography giant, Canon, have today announced ambitious plans for a revolutionary new camera that will for the first time ever allow users to photograph live sound.

The new camera, the Canon Koumori X1, comes designed with the futuristic capability of being able to detect and manifest sound visually through the lens so that users will be able to compliment photos and videos from loud environments like football games and concerts with the visual representation of sound.

“So many people are using their cameras in sound rich environments like parties, concerts and in nightclubs,” explained Canon CEO, Fujio Mitari. “But with the poor quality on-board mics the photos themselves lack a certain dynamism and can often appear quite static when we view them because we know that there’s a rich palette of audio-visual imagery that is absent from the scene.”

“Working from the feeling that the photograph or video in those instances is incomplete without visually representing sound, our developers came up with the idea of developing a camera that can address this issue and make for a more complete photographic experience by representing the sound present at the time the photo was taken using visual information,” continued Mr. Mitari.

Lead Project Developer of the Canon Koumori X1, Dr. Hideo Katashi, explained the process, “I like to take my 5D (pictured) with me wherever I go. Whether it’s a dinner party, a toilet or an all night rave I’m always a bit disappointed with my photos and videos because they often have crap sound or look too still and I know that we’re constantly surrounded by a vast cacophony of sound waves that, unfortunately, conventional cameras can’t pick up.”

“When I started developing the camera I received my inspiration from the animal world and how creatures can utilise the sound from the environment to paint a visual map of their surroundings,” explained Katashi. “The animal kingdom is bursting with creatures that are very successful in using sound to visually navigate their environment. Animals like the dolphin, the bat, and of course, Uri Gellar, all use sound to find their way in the world.”

“Using neurological mapping of a bat’s brain we were able to figure out a way that we could mimic that behaviour through technologies that we had available in the lab,” continued Dr. Katashi. “The camera has two little bat ears on either side of the main body of the camera which detect soundwaves. The signal is then sent into the photosensitive plates that we’ve inserted into the brain of a dead bat positioned in the centre of the camera.”

Dr. Katashi claimed that upon first using the camera he was shocked to discover the disparity between what colours we imagine would accompany certain sounds and the real colours that emerged. “It was a big shock to discover that farts aren’t actually brown,” he laughed. “They’re more of sarcastic greeny-blue. And the sound of a lump of faeces plopping into a toilet is actually the same colour as Simon Cowell’s forehead.”

“I’m delighted with the success and functionality of the camera,” enthused Dr. Katashi. “Hearing sound has never been enough for me, now that I can see sound, my life is complete. I’ll never forget the first time I watched the sound of my son crying as he came from my wife’s gooey womb. It was a such a beautiful gold and red that I completely forgot I was holding a camera during what should have been one of the most profound and personal moments of my life. And my son’s.”

Photography fans across the planet have reacted with unbridled enthusiasm for the Christmas 2014 release date of the camera. London communications student, Ben Wallace, is one who can’t wait to use the camera. “Well I use my camera mostly for taking photographs and videos in nightclubs. I don’t much like actually enjoying the gigs themselves, I get off on posting the video on Facebook to prove I was there,” claimed the student. “Now with this new application I’ll actually be getting more of an experience than those people who are just living their lives enjoying the music because I can actually see sound whereas they can’t. Unless they’re on strong hallucinogenics.”

“I’m blown away,” gushed mother of two, Mary Hawkins. “I can’t wait to see what sound actually looks like! I love posting videos of my kids doing something cute like singing or laughing to my Facebook page so I’m thrilled that I’ll finally be able to see what the sound my kids making looks like. I’m predicting a deep pink.”

The Canon Koumori X1 is scheduled for general release in time for Christmas 2014 and will have an expected price tag of over €2000.

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