In shocking news, an American scientist has revealed that a small troop of captive chimpanzees have started to produce a “very basic style of EDM”.
Barry Norwood, lead biologist at the Tulsa Chimpanzee Sanctuary, Oklahoma, claims the chimps are using rocks, sticks and their voices to make the primitive form of EDM.
“We started to notice some strangely rhythmic banging noises coming from one of our enclosures late last year,” explained Mr. Norwood. “After a couple of weeks they were becoming more and more frequent and if you listened closely you could clearly hear a four four beat so we decided to set up some cameras to investigate the chimps behaviour.”
“What we found was truly fascinating,” continued the excited biologist. “The chimps had arranged themselves into three groups, the first two groups were banging sticks and rocks off tree trunks to make beats and the third group were whooping and screaming loudly to make melodies.”
“We hid some basic recording equipment in the enclosure to try and capture the sound the chimps were making,” explained Norwood, “and when we played it back it was clear that the chimps had made a very basic and primitive form of electronic dance music, consisting of drawn out build ups and massive drops. Just like the stuff David Guetta makes,” he added.
“We played the recording back to the chimps and straight away Gonzo, the alpha male, climbed to the top of the highest tree in the enclosure and started to wave his hands around in the air,” recounted Mr. Norwood. “Then he moulded his own shit into a cake and flung it at the rest of the chimps, who had gathered and were cheering wildly at the base of the tree.”
It is understood that SFX Entertainment have already approached the Tulsa Chimpanzee Sanctuary about the possibility of staging an EDM festival on site next summer, with rumours already emerging of a headline set from Gonzo back to back with Steve Aoki.
