Drug dealers all over the world are preparing themselves for the busiest night of the year as Netflix premieres all ten episodes of Narcos season two tomorrow night.
Local cocaine dealer Michael Woods claims that he has been “bagging up eighths and quarters” all week in anticipation of a “bumper pay off”.
“I really hope I’ve got enough white to get me through Friday night and then on into the weekend,” explained Woods earlier. “I’ve got about ten ounces split into quarters and eighths, I won’t be selling anything smaller than that, I’ll should have most of that shifted by Saturday morning, at which point I’ll probably try to get a bit more in.”
“Netflix have sorted me right out by putting this thing out on a Friday night,” continued the dealer, who pays no heed to the classic “don’t get high on your own supply” rule. “If the show had of premiered on a Tuesday or Wednesday I would have sold practically no coke because of it but, being on a Friday, people are definitely going to be binge watching and they’ll defo want a bit of Peruvian flour to accompany the show.”
According to experts, watching Narcos triggers the “Charlie Sheen gene” which makes it impossible to say no to cocaine.
“Not everyone has the Charlie Sheen gene, although it is very common, we estimate that about one in every three people have it,” explained drugs expert and retired Swedish DJ Avicii. “Narcos, along with any other show that shows people using cocaine, is a known trigger for the Charlie Sheen gene. Once it’s triggered you’ll either spend the next eight hours frantically searching for coke or the next hours happily doing coke.”
Other trigger for the Charlie Sheen gene include; seeing other people take cocaine, drinking, talking to your friends and waking up in the morning.
