A Dublin based heroin addict has admitted that the only thing left for him after Christmas is cold turkey.
Adam Sweeney, of no fixed abode, admitted to selling all of his presents to raise the funds needed to feed his €100 a day heroin addiction.
“Santy was really good to me this year, I got loads of good presents, none of that cheap shit either, everything had a pretty good resale value, you know what I mean?” explained Sweeney earlier today. “Usually, after the Christmas, I’m lucky to make it to New Year’s Eve with the money I make from me pressies but this year I’ve made it right up until the end of the first week of January. Fucking result man!”
“I got a PlayStation 4 and a few games so that helped a good bit, I got a nice few quid back off that,” continued Sweeney, who had planned to become a “rock star like Pete Doherty” after getting a guitar for Christmas in 2014 but gave up on his dream after selling the guitar for €100 three days later. “I sold it, with me Ma and Da’s TV, a whopper fifty inch Sony, for a ton of cash so that’s lasted me for ages.”
“Then there was a few other bits and pieces like socks, selection boxes, Lynx sets, t-shirts and a few pairs of boxer shorts, you know? All the usual shite,” revealed the drug addict. “None of its really worth that much but it all adds up in the end, I got a few bags of gear out of it and the lads down the local got a few bargains so everyone’s happy.”
“I’m back on the graft now, all I have left is this piece of cold turkey, I’ll probably eat it myself, although, you can have it for €4 if you want, my Ma even put a bit of southern fried seasoning on it, it’s lovely.”
According to unconfirmed rumours, Mr. Sweeney later swapped half of his turkey for two Valiums, which helped “take the edge off” until he got the money together for his next fix.