A Colombian man who swallowed two kilos of cocaine to smuggle it into London, England, claims he has “the best shit” available in the UK.
Ricardo Sanchez is believed to have swallowed in excess of one hundred individual packages of cocaine before boarding a flight to London’s Heathrow airport last week.
The Bogota native claims to have taken the calculated risk to help fund a new life for him and his young family in England’s capital.
“I’ve always wanted to take my family to London for a better life,” explained Mr. Sanchez earlier today. “When I was a boy I had a picture of a Pete Doherty on my bedroom wall and I knew then that I could sell drugs in the UK. Most children from my town dream of growing up and playing football in England but for me it was always about drugs, I knew I wanted to be a London coke dealer.”
“Seeing Doherty’s maniacal drug fueled eyes everyday was the perfect inspiration to get me here,” continued the smuggler. “I don’t even like his music, he was just a constant reminder that people in England have lots of money and like to spend it on drugs.”
“Since then, I’ve saved every spare penny I had until I was able to buy a flight and enough cocaine to come here and make a good life,” he revealed. “And after a nervous wait to get all of that coke out of my lower intestines, I now have the best shit you’re going to find anywhere in the UK. All I need to do now is find Pete Doherty and I’ll be a millionaire.”
Picture: Not actually Colombian drug dealer
