A confused Croatian perfumer has declared that he is really looking forward to letting his hair down at this year’s “Stop Making Scents” festival.
Initial reports indicate that the perfumer, forty four year old Nico Novak from Split, has confused the popular electronic music festival Stop Making Sense, held in Tisno on the 16th – 19th July, with a public holiday specifically for perfumers, which exists exclusively in his head.
“It’s going to be great,” claimed Mr. Novak. “The Croatian perfume business is relentless, I haven’t had a day off since the Great Essential Oils Drought back in 1996. I’m going to stuff my nose with cotton wool and blu-tack so I can really enjoy a few fragrance-free days away from the hustle and bustle of the competitive perfume world.”
“I never even would have considered taking the time off if they hadn’t of told me to stop making scents for a few days in July,” continued Novak, who claims his nose is so sensitive he can smell an unhygienic groin at forty paces. “It’s about time the government stepped in and started looking after perfumers like myself, everyone knows this great country was built on sweet smelling eau de toilette and it’s about time we got a bit of recognition for it.”
Mr. Novak went on to explain that the part of the festival he was most looking forward to was the bit when all the perfumers “gather around a stage and Skream”.
“I’ve heard about these group therapy things where everyone just Skreams at the top of their voices,” explained Novak. “I can imagine it’s great fun and a really good way to blow off some steam so that should be good. I’m also looking forward to seeing The Black Madonna, I think it’s a kind of ironic, christian themed, novelty, comedy act or something so it should be good for a laugh if nothing else.”
Experts in Croatia are warning anyone who may be in the market for a new cologne, eau de toilette or perfume in mid July to ensure they buy them in advance, as the entire industry is set to come to a complete standstill while the festival is running.
