A report released by the Family Institute has today revealed that an ever increasing number of young couples are postponing having children so they can continue to go clubbing every weekend.
“Some people put off having children so they can focus on their careers or travel,” explained Cynthia, “but most of the young couples we’re coming across now are avoiding pregnancies so they can keep tearing the arse out of every weekend in nightclubs and festivals.”
“Most of them consider babies as social life killers and will avoid the possibility of becoming pregnant even if they’re in their 30s and would want to get a fucking move on,” she added.
Wunderground interviewed some young couples to gain an understanding of why, in their own words, they considered babies to be “pfffft” and “so not on point right now”.
“Once you’ve had a baby then you’re locked into a life of getting your increasingly annoyed mother to babysit every Friday night and then having to deal with a baby while hungover on Saturday afternoon when all you want to do is watch Deal or No Deal and eat biscuits,” explained 32-year-old data entry clerk, Mary Philips. “I mean, who wants to change a nappy or have a baby sucking your tit after you’ve been mixing Red Bull & vodka with pills all night.”
“The only white powder I want to see on a weekend is cocaine, not talcum,” she added. “I don’t want to be up all night with a baby unless it’s playing some tech-house.”
38-year-old David Browne echoed Mary’s aversion to having children “so young” and contend that most of his peer group share his ambition of not having kids until “at least forty”.
“Yeah I couldn’t be doing with the whole kids thing while I’m still so young,” explained David. “I’ve got another two years til I’m forty, let me enjoy my youth. Once I’m forty then I’m out on my own and will have the rest of my life to have kids, I’ve only had 25 years of being a clubber like, that’s not enough if you ask me.”
“Sometimes though, I do want kids, like when I’m coming down on a Tuesday and assess how I’ve spent my life,” he added. “But other times, like a Friday when I’m doing my first toot, I’ll think ‘naaaahhh’ and secretly hope that I might be infertile so then I at least have an excuse for not getting my shit together and starting a family.”
