The Moscone Center, San Francisco, was the scene of a brutal riot last night after violence broke out during a Thugfucker show.
The U.S. based duo, comprising of Greg Oreck and Holmar Filipsson, were due to perform as the closing act of this year’s National Gay Criminals Convention. The NGCC, now in its fifth year, offers young criminals a place to meet other like minded people and swap ideas for new criminal enterprises, phone numbers and even bodily fluids.
The future of the convention has now been cast into doubt after crowds of angry young men tore the center’s main arena apart, claiming to have been ‘extremely disappointed’ by Thugfucker’s performance. Phil McCrackin, a local armed robber, spoke of his discontent, “It was such a letdown, I’d been hanging around this lame ass convention with some of my gang members all day waiting to see the Thugfucker. Not that I’m gay gay. Only prison gay,” he explained. “To be honest I didn’t have any idea what it was. I had this image in my head of an all male cabaret show of rough and ripped dudes or of a giant robot with different dildo attachments but it turned out to be wishful thinking. I think the not knowing was what had us all so excited and then ultimately so disappointed,” continued Mr. McCrackin.
“A huge crowd of guys had gathered in the main arena, some really nasty pieces of work too,” he commented. “At first when the DJs came onstage we just thought they were there to provide some atmosphere, or ‘fucking music’ as I like to call it. But when they started to play house music instead of Luther Vandross we knew something wasn’t right. You could actually hear the collective grown of disappointment from the audience. I don’t think anyone in that crowd was expecting that from a so called Thugfucker,” said the clearly unsatisfied criminal.
Brian Hamilton, Head of Security for the Moscone Center, gave his accounts of the incident, “The whole thing really escalated quickly. The show had only been on a couple of minutes when the crowd started to turn nasty,” explained the chief security guard. “People think the gays are a nice friendly bunch but these guys are hardened criminals, there’s nothing friendly about them at all, it was like being put in the middle of that scene in the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy only there was no hilarious slow dancing.”
“It started off with some booing down the back and before I knew it there were bottles of poppers and tubes of lube being flung from the crowd. We just didn’t have the man power to handle the situation so we just got the guys off the stage and called the cops. By the time they got here the place was destroyed. We tried to contain the rioters inside the center but they just smashed the back doors in and escaped. I’ve never seen anything like it before,” said the shook security guard.
Emergency services have confirmed that there were no serious injuries during the riots, although four men have reported to their local STI clinic with suspected syphilis.
