Two young students who participated in an impromptu dance off during a local student night are reported to have passed away peacefully this morning after suffering acute embarrassment following the incident.
The young men, Jules Maguire and Alex Simmons, reportedly engaged in the dance off to what has been reported as a medley of House of Pain’s Jump Around and Salt N Pepa’s Push It in front of several hundred witnesses who it is believed bated the young men into “making idiots of themselves” for their own amusement.
“They were thrash talking and circling each other trying to breakdance,” confirmed one eye witness who claimed he “became embarrassed for them” particularly after “the smaller one tried to rip off his t-shirt but was too weak and looked like a toddler trying to rip a paper bag”.
According to witnesses the moves they were pulling were “proper crap” and the whole thing was “well awkward” despite the two men’s belief that what they were doing was part of college hi-jinks like liver abuse and sleeping late.
“The bigger guy had better moves, and by that I mean he knew what dances he was trying to do without actually doing them correctly,” claimed another witness who says he still cringes at the thought of how pathetic the dance off was. “I physically shiver at the thought of Jules pointing gun fingers at Alex and asking him to bring it”.
Doctors claim that once the dance off ended and one of the losers, Jules, was declared the winner for his scintillating rendition of The Worm followed by “some pretty basic shuffling” at which point the crowd was already bored.
“We answered a call that two men had recklessly put their social standing on the line by engaging in an unrewarding and pointless display of one upmanship in a dance off at a local nightclub,” claimed the attending doctor, Dr. Harry Shiplady. “Both men exhibited symptoms ranging from a red face, sweat palms and downcast eyes, which we were able to determine on the spot were acute signs of embarrassment that are common with humiliating yourself in public.”
Unfortunately doctors claim that the embarrassment grew worse as the duo received Facebook messages detailing how stupid they looked and claims that “even though they were drunk, they’ll never live it down”.
“In the end,” concluded Dr. Shiplady. “It’s probably for the best that the two of them died peacefully. No comes back from the public humiliation of doing a drunken dance off while topless. They’re better off dead.”
