Insider reports from the BBC have confirmed that David Attenborough’s latest nature documentary, Planet Earth 2, will feature a “psytrance fan episode”.
According to Wunderground’s anonymous source, the episode will track and document the behaviour of a group of British psytrance fans, giving viewers a real insight into the lives of the rare species.
“I was part of the production team for the psytrance fan episode,” confirmed the BBC employee. “We followed this group of psytrance fans to illegal raves and miniature festivals for the entire summer, it’s the first time they’ve ever been filmed in their natural habitat and I really think this could help break some of the common misconceptions people have about them.”
“Once you get through the layers of crusty festival clothes, dirt and matted hair they really are beautiful creatures,” continued the source. “I’ve literally sat for hours and watched them feed, on a diet of cheap flagons of cider, Amber Leaf rolling tobacco, liquid LSD, ketamine and Ginsters Cornish Pasties, and I can honestly say it’s one of the most satisfying things to do in the world, ever.”
“I’m also one of the first non psytrance fans to witness two psytrance fans mating,” claimed the anonymous source. “We were on location at a secret forest rave in Devon when it happened. It was such a beautiful moment. One of the female psytrance fans had obviously had too much White Lightning Cider and passed out on a bed she improvised out of charity shop jackets. Then, one of the skinny little alphas came along and, after making sure she was definitely asleep, mated with her. I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live.”
Other activities the film crew captured the psytrance fans doing include; using stone tools to open beer bottles, piercing each other’s ears with sharpened fish bones and moisturising their skin with a mixture of mud, human feces and flat sparkling water.
