David Guetta Fan Excited To Start Big School

A David Guetta fan from Melbourne, Australia, has recently spoke of his excitement to be “finally starting big school”.

Chris Prince, pictured above, is said to be “slightly nervous, but very enthusiastic” about the prospect of going to learn in the same building as the “big boys and girls”.

“It’s a little bit scary,” revealed Chris (5) before his first day of school on Monday morning. “But I’m very brave and Daddy put the new David Guetta album on my iPod. Daddy says David Guetta will keep me safe and that if I ever feel ascared I should listen to him on my headphones, like when Daddy’s shouting at the footy or listening to the music that goes ‘bang bang bang’ and checking that the sugar smells ok.”

“David Guetta is my favourite in the whole-while-world,” continued Chris, who hasn’t wet the bed in over three weeks. “He looks just like Goldilocks and I really like all the colours he has on the big TV behind his head when he’s playing music on his computers.”

According to Chris’s dad, Nick Prince, the only peace he gets is when Chris is listening to David Guetta, “I personally hate Guetta,” revealed Nick. “I wouldn’t piss on his stupid French face if it was on fire, but squirt seems to love him and it gives me a little bit of peace so I downloaded the new album for him. Illegally obviously.”

“Sometimes I get a bit worried about Chris listening to him, thinking he’ll grow up soft, you know cause it sheila’s music?” explained Nick cautiously. “But then I just remind myself he’s only five and it’s probably just a phase he’ll go through, like eating white dog shit or picking his nose. I’m sure he’ll grow up to listen to techno just like his old man.”

According to unconfirmed reports from the schoolyard Chris was made sit in the “bold corner” for approximately ten minutes after repeatedly pinching a class mate who claimed that David Guetta was a “stupid poo-poo head” who makes music for “silly bogans”.