David Guetta To Use Bitstrip To Document His Life

French pop sensation, David Guetta, has today announced that he is to use the popular app, Bitstrip, to make a documentary style comic book strip of his life.

Guetta, famed for continuously jumping from one bandwagon to another to stay in the public eye over the course of his career, sees the annoying  app as the ideal way to propel himself back into the limelight. “I think Bitstrip is totally perfect for me. It’s crass, it’s annoying, it’s cheap. We’re a match made in heaven,” he said with a smile.

Having recently fallen one place, to fifth, in the DJ Mag Top 100 poll, Guetta, believes a reality style, comic book strip, documentary is the perfect tonic to push him back up the rankings for next year’s poll, “I’m already sick of being the fifth best DJ in the world and the poll was only released two weeks ago,” he apprehensively stated. “People keep calling me a sell out, they say I pre-record my sets and that I’m not a real DJ, well what better way is there to prove how real I am by having a cartoon version of myself acting out a scripted adaptation of my life through the medium of social media?” he asked. “I’m sure this is going to put me back in the number one spot, where I belong.”

The comic book strip, which will be shared daily on Guetta’s official Facebook page, is set to be launched next week. “I’ve had a team of writers working on it all week. I have such a busy schedule that I can pretty much tell you now where I’m going to be at any point over the next month, this allows us to pre-record events in my life before they even happen. It’s fantastic,” explained the Frenchman.

“But I’m not going to bore the public with the hours of tedious meetings with my legal team or time spent trawling through other people’s music looking for anything that sounds catchy enough to rip off so it will mostly show people stopping me in the street to high five me and tell me how brilliant I am or how awesome my hair looks, just normal everyday things for me,” he commented conceitedly.

Legal proceedings against Bitstrip, for misrepresenting Mr. Guetta’s image, have already been initiated by the DJ’s representatives and will be acted upon should the comic book strip fail to have the desired effect.