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September 11, 2017
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David Guetta’s New Alias Slightly Less Shit Than David Guetta

Reports from the music industry suggest that David Guetta’s brand new alias, Jack Back, is slightly less shit than David Guetta, but ultimately still shit.

Guetta, who seems to be further distancing himself from EDM on a daily basis, has claimed that he hopes to make a “return to the underground” under the Jack Back alias.

However, music critics all over the world have labeled Guetta’s latest project as a “pathetic” and “regrettable” attempt to regain the credibility he once had.

“It’s a classic case of the boy who cried wolf, only instead of it being a boy it’s a fifty-year-old Parisian and instead of him crying wolf, he’s been playing really shit music for over a decade,” explained Ivan Goldstein, of Pitchfork Magazine. “So, it’s practically the same thing and, like the boy who cried wolf, Guetta is finding it hard to regain the public’s trust.”

“Honestly, it’s going to take a lot more than a little bit of commercial house music to get back Guetta back into the underground,” continued Goldstein. “I think he’d probably have to pay a compensation package to every house music fan in the world to make them forget about the last ten or fifteen year’s worth of shit he’s been releasing.”

“I’ve listened to some of the Jack Back stuff and while it’s definitely not quite as shit as I’ve come to expect from Guetta, it’s still pretty shit when compared to other, more credible, underground artists,” revealed the music journalist. “So, I’d say it’s a good start, but he’s still got a long way to go before he’s underground again.”

Guetta has denied that the alias Jack Back is a desperate attempt to distance himself from the EDM world and claims it is more of a “spiritual journey back to his roots”.

“I really don’t understand why people always feel the need to put labels on things,” the French superstar told us. “This music is shit, that music is EDM, other music is underground and some is commercial.”

“If I’m being perfectly honest with you, it bores me to death. For me, as a musician and an artist, I don’t care what genre or label my music comes under. All that matters to me is that it makes me money, I’ll literally make any old shit if there’s a few Dollars in it, so why waste your time putting it into categories?”

So far, Guetta’s latest project has received zero good reviews, although, one twelve-year-old in Alaska is believed to have described it as “kind of alright-ish”.

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