Reports emerging from Toronto are suggesting that Canadian EDMer Deadmau5’s famous Nyan Cat Ferrari is expected to be bought this week by some other idiot in search of a vacuous status symbol.
It is believed that the car, a sky blue Ferrari featuring the child-like drawing of an internet meme which looks like it was created for a spoiled 12 year old Korean girl, is also expected to be used as a symbol of “everything that’s wrong with society”.
Those who are believed to be interested in the car, which was posted onto Toronto’s Craiglist last week with an asking price of $380,000, include dumb, grill wearing, chain toting rappers in search of ever more garish ways to display wealth, equally stupid rich kids whose parents will buy anything their entitled, ADHD addled hands distractedly point at and anyone else who wants to broadcast an air that suggests that they have more money than sense, namely celebrities, sports personalities and royalty.
“I don’t want to own a Ferrari. Owning a Ferrari isn’t bad ass,” gushed one slush fund baby, Blake Thomas-Archibald, who insists his daddy will buy him the car if he promises to stop taking Oxycontin. “Owning a Ferrari and making it hideously undesirable by scrawling silly bullshit on it, that’s bad ass.”
“I’m the sort of guy who likes to light cigars by burning banknotes and using brand new iPads to chop vegetables, so owning a hideous car for the sake of owning it is right up my street,” he added. “Money isn’t a problem for me, my only problem is making sure that people know that money isn’t a problem for me so I have to buy, and usually destroy, expensive things to make my point.”
“I bought an original Rembrandt only to draw mustaches on it and to throw darts at,” he laughed.
It’s believed that Blake may be in the front running to buy the car, described universally as “a horrible waste of a Ferrari”, “Not Wheels” and “the worst thing on four wheels since Kurt Russell in Death Proof“, but there is rumoured to be competition for the car by L’il Wayne, Jeremy Clarkson and, surprisingly, David Byrne but it is believed that the music icon is only interested in buying the car so that it’s humanely destroyed.
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