A dealer who was selling pills for the bargain price of £8 each was lying about not having any change, it has emerged.
The thrifty dealer, who was operating from a secret location close to a popular London club, was offering customers pills for £8 each but every time someone tried to pay him with a £10 not, he claimed that he had no change despite having pockets full of £1 and £2 coins.
One customer, who has asked to remain anonymous, claims to have bought pills from the dealer on three separate occasions, each time leaving with no change from £10.
“Well the first time I went up to him I didn’t really mind, pills usually cost a tenner when you’re out and about anyway so it was no big deal,” explained the unnamed source. “He just told me he’d get me ‘next time’ and stuck my tenner in his pocket. They were blue ghosts so I was happy enough.”
“The second time I went back I wasn’t so happy,” revealed the disgruntled customer. “I’d had two pills off him and given him £20 so he owed me £4. He said he didn’t have any change so I offered to give him a quid if he’d give me back a fiver but he just said he had no fivers and told me he’d get me ‘next time’.”
“By this point, I knew he’d never have any change so the only way I’d get my money back was to buy four pills for a tenner each, meaning he’d owe me eight quid, so instead of change I could get an extra pill for free,” he said confidently. “ But, apparently, the deal only works for one pill at a time so I bought a third, again he had no change, and I planned to come back in a half hour to get my fourth and fifth pills of the night.”
“Unfortunately, by now, I had three blue ghosts inside me,” continued the source. “I’m not exactly sure what happened next but I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it back to the dealer because the next thing I remember I’m sitting in Trafalgar Square, holding hands with a drunk homeless woman while planning to elope to Vegas and live under a bridge.”
“After about fifteen to twenty minutes of kissing and heavy petting I told her I loved, bid her adieu and left to find my friends,” he added, “so instead of buying one pill for eight quid I ended up buying three for £30. He’s probably the smartest dealer I’ve ever met in my life.”
