It has emerged that a DJ who claims to be annoyed by ravers taking videos of his sets actually loves being filmed.
Hotflush Recordings head-honcho Scuba, real name Paul Rose, who has been known to slap the phone out of a ravers hand whilst screaming “I am Scuba and this is MY dancefloor”, has been one of a number of DJ’s to criticise the modern day raver, saying they “kill the vibe” and “look like a proper cunt” by continually filming the DJ rather than having a good time and enjoying the music.
“I’m all for this ‘no phones on the dancefloor’ rule” said Scuba. “I live in Berlin and run my own record label so I’m already cool as fuck, however, I’m always hunting for that something extra to put me on a pedestal and make me feel like a true rock star, you know, like Madonna or Jamiroquai; hence why I started digging out people who constantly photograph me. I understand these guys pay extortionate prices to see us DJ’s perform and might only want a quick snap or short video to remember a wonderful night, but I don’t care – I don’t want anybody filming or photographing me ever again.”
Wunderground managed to speak with Scuba’s long-term friend Michelle to ask for her thoughts on the situation, “He says he hates it but it is all one big hipster bandwagon” said Michelle. “Just last week we were at a family party when his ninety two year old grandmother tried to pose for a photo with him and the other grandchildren. He saw this as an opportunity to get on his high-horse, snatched the camera from her hands and demanded his six foot seven security guard to chuck her out of her own house. Then, when a few of his aunties and uncles asked what all the fuss was about, he gave a twenty minute speech on how photos, selfies and videos kill the vibe and are not what he’s about.”
Despite Scuba’s insistence that there should be no phones within a ten mile radius of a rave, it would seem that he secretly desires to be filmed, enjoying the fame it brings.
“Last night I was using his iPad when I saw his search history,” revealedd Michelle. “He appears to have spent the last three days Googling things like ‘how to look photogenic in a dark room’, ‘does the camera really add ten lbs’, ‘do I look good in anything other than black’ and ‘how to get my stubble on-point’. Despite his constant whinging about it, he obviously prepares for these videos and wants to look his best.”
