A DJ who was paid in tickets for a recent set has been left pissed off after realising that he can’t spend them in any shops.
Barry Freshington, a.k.a. DJ Phresh Bazzil, was left red faced after trying to spend his “pay” in a number of shops earlier today.
“What the fuck is this all about?” asked a furious Freshington earlier. “When I was told I’d be paid in tickets I just presumed that tickets was slang for money or some kind of vouchers, the last thing I thought I was going to be getting was actual tickets, what fucking use are tickets to me for fuck’s sake.”
“I’m a DJ, not a bloody promoter. Playing tunes is my job not selling poxy tickets. If I wanted to sell tickets I’d start my own night and try to make a few quid but I don’t, I want to play a few tunes and make people dance,” continued the DJ. “All I charge is a hundred quid, it’s not like I’m gonna break the bank.”
“Now I’ve been left looking like a right daft bastard up in Asda trying to spend a fucking ticket,” revealed Freshington angrily. “The bint on the checkout looked at me like I was some kind of simpleton, she said ‘I’m sorry love but you can’t buy a cheese sandwich with this, is your mummy with you?’ I’m twenty nine for fuck’s sake, all I could do was play along, so I just did my best James Corden impression and walked away like a spacker. I’ve not been that embarrassed since I accidentally played a David Guetta track in one of my sets back in 2010.”
“The next time someone asks me to play a gig where I’ll be paid in tickets, I’m going to say yeah but I’ll only play it in CDs, then, instead of showing up to the club on the day of the party, I’ll get a load of CDs with my tracks on them couriered to the promoter and tell him ‘that’ll be ten tickets please’. That’ll teach the prick to be such a fucking tight arse.”
According to sources, Mr Freshington later received approximately £1.74 for his tickets, after a stoner friend claimed they were “perfect roach material” and agreed to pay him “everything he had in his pockets” for them.
