A DJ has been arrested today after punching an interviewer in the face when he was asked to describe the craziest thing he’s witnessed as a DJ for the millionth time in his career.
37-year-old house DJ Justin Griffith reportedly “totally lost it” during an interview where he was also asked to list which cities he likes playing in, what he loves about playing festivals and how healthy he thinks the scene is.
“Being a touring DJ he has to do a lot of mind numbingly awful press where interviewers plaster on smiles and feign excitement about hearing boring stories about album dates and touring schedules,” explained Justin’s aide, Leanne.
“Usually, because the interviewer is a creative vacuum with nothing to say, they will try and lighten up the interview by asking the DJ to tell them about the craziest thing they’ve seen happen in a club or the wildest story from Ibiza or whatever.”
“That’s what happened with Justin, he was on his fourth interview of the morning and having exhausted his supply of anecdotes about how much he loves playing in whatever city it was he was scheduled to play in, the interviewer leaned in conspiratorially and asked ‘what’s the craziest thing you’ve seen in your career as a DJ,'” she added.
“You could see Justin tense up at the beleaguered futility of the question but he kept his professional cool and sorta shrugged it off with a non-committal comment like ‘You probably couldn’t broadcast it’ and laughed, thinking he’d shut it down and the interview was over.”
“But the interviewer, a 24-year-old poser man-child from some faux-hip magazine whose middle-class whiteness makes it difficult for him to read body language, pressed Justin to tell him a story,” she continued. “Justin just said ‘look mate, that’s the most banal annoying question to ask a DJ’, then told him to fuck off and then nutted him in the face with his fist.”
Police were called to the scene but no charges are being pressed as everyone agrees that if you ask stupid uninspired questions you probably deserve “a slap at the very least”.
“I heard the punch was actually an openhanded slap which, while it asserts dominance, is disappointing because it’s less painful,” exclaimed one DJ witness. “He’s only acting out the fantasy of every DJ who has ever been interviewed, he should actually be applauded for it.”
