An English DJ has been told, in no uncertain terms, not to scratch after being diagnosed with chickenpox.
Steven Smith, a.k.a. The SS, recently spoke of his frustration after having to resist the temptation to scratch his “incredibly itchy, pocked skin”.
“I’ve never been so tempted to scratch in all my life, and I regularly play student parties where nobody really knows anything about music,” explained Smith during a chat with Wunderground. “My skin feels like it’s crawling with spiders who have feather dusters for legs. I want to scratch it so badly but I don’t want to end up looking like Bryan Adams’s lovechild so I’ll just have to resist.”
Wunderground also spoke to Dr Alban, CEO of the Poxy Skin Clinic, to find out more about Mr Smith’s predicament, “Scratching is definitely a major no-no for anyone who finds themselves in Mr Smith’s position,” confirmed Dr Alban. “DJs who scratch generally end up looking like total dicks.”
“Just look at Skrillex or Danny Tenaglia,” added the doctor. “Do you think those guys got their faces chewed up by not scratching? Of course they didn’t, they’re both definitely scratchers, so unless Mr Smith want to end looking like one of those guys I’d advised he keeps his hands in mittens for the next five to eight days.”
“I find that scratching is never good,” continued Dr Alban. “A lot of you are probably thinking ‘it’s my life, I’ll scratch if I want to’ and that’s fair enough but, unless you’ve been told otherwise, nobody wants to see a DJ scratch.”
According to friends of Mr Smith, the DJ has so far resisted the temptation to scratch, although, he may be in line for some light scarring after performing numerous “spin backs” on one “particularly itchy” patch of skin.
