Canadian rapper and record producer Drake is set to be investigated for unemployment benefit fraud after collaborating with Rihanna on her recent number one track Work.
According to Canadian sources, Drake has been claiming unemployment benefits in Ontario since 2011 and will now be audited after appearing on the Barbadian songstress’ latest track.
“We received an anonymous tip off about Drake’s involvement in Rihanna’s track a couple of weeks ago,” revealed investigator Peter Slowly. “Before that we didn’t even know he was Canadian, we always just assumed he was American because he’s a successful rapper and most Canadian rappers are just dumb guys with too much time on their hands, so we never would have even considered running an audit on him before now.”
“Judging by the looks of things he’s been a busy boy since he opened his claim back in 2011 and he could owe the Canadian government a considerable amount of dollars in overpayments,” continued Mr Slowly. “If he’s found guilty we’ll send him a very strongly worded letter and make him pay the money back at a minimum rate of $5 a week.”
Wunderground managed to speak to Drake about the matter, “Of course I’ve been claiming unemployment benefits. It’s free money. You’d have to be fucking mental not to claim it.”
“I don’t care if I get caught, I’m a mutherfuckin’ gangster, mild white collared benefit fraud is what I do, you hear me son? Gangster!” continued the rapper while throwing gang signs that made him look like he had arthritic fingers. “I don’t care if the feds want to investigate me, I’ve already been done for Jaywalking, twice, so there’s fuck all they can do to me that they haven’t already done.”
We also asked Rihanna what she thought of Drake’s situation, she said “Seme sammy wer, wer, wer, wer. Pinky panny wer, wer, wer, wer.” At this point we stopped the interview and told Rihanna to “fuck off and learn how to talk”.
Despite the rapper’s frosty exterior and seemingly blasé attitude towards authority, sources close to the Canadian claim that Drake is secretly repentant for his crimes and has written a full apology and offered to repay his debt in full, along with any interest and charges, to the Canadian government.