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July 27, 2015
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Drug Dealer Finds Box Of Bananas In Cocaine Shipment

Dealer Finds Bananas In Cocaine

An English drug dealer was today shocked to discover a full box of bananas in a drug shipment he received from South America.

Michael Hall made the strange discovery when he opened a crate, of what he believed to be “just cocaine”, in a warehouse at a secret location on the Cornish coastline.

“I thought it was just a normal delivery of half a ton of high grade cocaine,” explained Michael earlier. “I get them in about once a month and it’s usually just your standard vac packed kilo blocks so I really got a bit of a shock when I seen the mystery box in there.”

“I thought it might have been weed or machine guns or something like that but I totally wasn’t expecting to find bananas when I opened the box,” continued Mr. Hall. “When I seen the greeny yellow colour and the smell of fresh fruit hit my nose I nearly passed out, I just remember thinking ‘what the hell are bananas doing in cocaine?’ it just didn’t make sense.”

“I bet there’s a lad on a banana plantation somewhere in the Caribbean who’s going to get into a lot of trouble over this,” predicted the drug dealer. “I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do with the bananas, I’m half thinking I’ll keep them and just have them for my own personal banana use over the next few weeks or even bring them down the local fruit and veg market and sell them at a slightly reduced price. I was going to hand them over to the proper authorities but I wouldn’t know who to call.”

According to inside information, a small time fruit and veg dealer in Devon was forced to shut his operation down after he was crippled with debt due to a missing shipment of bananas.

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