In news breaking news from the Netherlands, the Dutch government has blamed Nazi occupation during World War II for the high levels of EDM visible in the country today.
EDM is seen as one of the biggest obstacles facing the dutch government at the moment, with thousands of wannabe EDM DJs and producers currently claiming social welfare and exhausting the county’s economy.
Prime Minister Mark Rutte addressed the issue at the government’s annual end of year review, “EDM is clearly a hangover left on these lands by the occupation of Nazi Germany during World War II. All of the countries which suffered at the hands of the Third Reich now face huge problems with this evil legacy.”
“If we look at ourselves and our western European neighbours in Belgium, France and Sweden we can clearly see that the remnants of occupation has manifested into a bizarre form of substandard electronic music,” explained the Prime Minister. “Which has became as much of a drain on our country’s resources as Nazi occupation ever could have been.”
Rutte went on to commend the Soviet Union’s strict communist regime in the post war years for stamping out early signs of EDM, the results of which are an almost non existent EDM industry in Eastern Europe. He also called on his political counterparts to form an alliance and come up with a “final solution” to the EDM problem.
“We need to unite our nations against this great affliction that has been bestowed upon us by evil forces from the past,” demanded Rutte in a passionate conclusion to his speech. “It’s time to treat these EDM DJs and producers with the harshness that their crimes against humanity deserve.”
According to reports from The Hague, a list of EDM DJs and producers, including Hardwell and W&W pictured above performing a “Nazi salute” at this year’s Ultra Festival, has been drafted and circulated to police throughout the country. Officers have been instructed to “arrest on sight” until all of the names on the list have been accounted for and sent to work camps.
