A nightclub in East London has been at the centre of a publicity shit storm after banning all liquids from their venue, amid fears for customer’s “cameraphones, Huaraches and Supreme jackets”.
The controversial move comes after management at the venue claim they were simply inundated with complaints from punters who had had their phones either damaged or broken whilst attempting to document their night on social media.
We caught up with Linton Shingle, manager of publicly shamed, celebrity themed club Saville Row, to find out more about his decisiion.
“People care more about looking scene and telling people they’ve barely ever met that they’re having a mental night via social media than they do about actually having a mental night and connecting with the humans right in front of them. It’s as simple as that.” Mr Shingle explained with a cold glint of fiscal practicality in his eye akin to that of a full-time PPI salesman.
“It’s pretty hard to simultaneously Tweet about the new Supreme drop and post videos of you shouting SHUTDOWN out of time with the techno playing in front of you when your iPhone is in the repair shop with a cracked screen and two litres of White Russian sloshing about its motherboard now isn’t it?”
“So we’ve just put a complete stop to all drinks in the club and so far the response has been great! Our social media traction is through the roof, we’ve had absolutely no problem with local law enforcement and a property developer has already started asking if they can put fifty studio apartments in the beer cellar” continued Mr Shingle whilst combing focaccia crumbs from his beard.
“We’re probably going to switch out the Funktion One for high-speed charging plugs next so our ravers never have to worry about that vital Facebook live stream clapping out mid-set again.”
