One of the least publicised, but most far reaching, consequences of the worldwide economic downturn has been to force hard pressed drug dealers to sell ecstasy tablets in halves.
“Consumer confidence is just so low in the midst of a recession that people who would normally have been willing to spend freely are tightening their purse strings and buying less, that includes pills,” confirmed teenage drug scourge Darrell Blakely. “Thankfully though they still liking getting mad ouvit enough that they’ll still by halves, otherwise my kids would starve.”
“I don’t actually have kids cause I’m 15 but I’d starve and wouldn’t be able to buy new games for the Xbox or trainers,” he added. “Which is essentially the same thing, and if not the same then just as bad.”
“My usual customer base of young people in entry positions, students and people on the dole has been massively contracted throughout the economic crisis as they simply don’t have the money needed to buy drugs,” he continued. “So selling in halves is often the only option.”
Darrell expressed his misgivings at the trickle down economic system of neo-liberalism and insisted that that wealth doesn’t reach businessmen like him as “posh people tend to buy less drugs and the drugs they do buy are mostly coke and weed which I don’t sell”.
“Well if it wasn’t for people like Darrell, who’s willing to cut his prices and help people out then half of this city’s clubs would be closed,” claimed one local promoter who views Darrell as a “hero” and recommends his shit to all of his friends. “It’s the possibility of banging a cheeky hauf that makes it worthwhile for some people.”
Some commentators on the club drug scene have suggested a kind of subsidising initiative which would see prominent members and companies in the clubbing community lend a helping hand to struggling drug dealers without whom there would be no dance music scene.
“The undisputable fact that the entire multi-billion clubbing and EDM industry is built on the consumption of illegal drugs is one that is carefully brushed aside by those in power but I think that it’s beholden to them to appreciate on which side their bread is buttered, the drug smeared side.”
“Surely Calvin Harris can throw a couple of million quid onto the street and give struggling street dealers a much needed solvency injection to save dance music from sober oblivion?”
“The government bailed out the banks, EDM stars should bail out the dealers.”
