San Antonio’s Eden nightclub is now considered a “teacher’s pet” by other Ibiza nightclubs after going the whole summer without getting raided by Guardia.
According to fellow Ibiza club Amnesia, Eden is a “total wimp” and a “complete bottler” when it comes to taking chances and getting people through its doors.
“I can’t believe we’re here in October and Eden has gone the whole season without getting raided by the police,” scoffed Amnesia earlier today, “It’s no wonder the place is empty most of the time, they need to start taking a few risks if they want to hit the high life again.”
“They think that being well behaved is going to get them in there with the Guardia but that’s just not the case,” added fellow club and target of raids Space. “I’ve been trying to be well behaved for years and where has it got me? Nowhere that’s where, closing after twenty seven years with nothing to show for it but a sticky floor.”
Es Paradis, a source close to Eden, has confirmed that the club’s “goody two shoes” image is about as believable as a “Ten Walls apology”.
“I’ve been neighbours with Eden for years now,” explained Es Paradis. “He seems all squeaky clean but let me tell you he’s not. I’m pretty sure there’s all sorts of shit going on in there but for some reason the Guardia are turning a blind eye. I can’t say how he’s getting away with it for sure but I’m pretty sure the reason starts with a ‘brown’ and ends with ‘velope’.”
Reports from within the Guardia claim that, from next year, they will be are using “London’s nightclub policy” as a benchmark for dealing with clubs, which should ensure that Eden,along with all of the other nightclubs will receive plenty of attention from local authorities.
