The entire electronic music community is in mourning today after the news that Simian Mobile Disco has broken down due to catastrophic engine failure.
The disco, which had been mobile since early 2005 when two members of the band Simian embarked on a new project, was traveling from London to Manchester on the M40 when it broke down near Royal Leaminton Spa, approximately thirty miles south-east of Birmingham. Although an official mechanic’s report has yet to be released, early signs are pointing to “timing belt failure”.
Disco pilots, James Ford and Jas Shaw, spoke of the incident, “We’d been on the road for nearly two hours when we started to notice a weird sound coming from the engine,” explained James. “We’re not exactly in the know when it comes to motors so we just drove on hoping we’d make it to Manchester,” added Jas.
“But after a few minutes she just started to slow down and eventually rolled to a stop, her engine gave one last convulsive croak and then she clapped out,” James painfully remembered. “We ran to the bonnet to see if there was anything we could do but we may as well of been staring into a box of mispronounced Chinese words, engines just don’t make sense to us,” pleaded Jas.
“It was too late, she was gone….. It’s our fault, she was due a service nearly eight thousand miles ago and we didn’t take her. We were so busy but we should have made time, now she’s wrote off and there’s nothing we can do about it. We’ll never live this guilt down,” admitted a grief stricken Jas.
“I just can’t believe we’ll never get to look into those bright headlights or feel the purr of her four liter diesel engine beneath us as we’re bringing joy into people’s lives through the medium of mobile disco ever again,” said James while placing a consoling arm around around Jas’ shoulders.
Local mechanic and tow-truck driver, Derek, was the first person on the scene after the incident. He gave Wunderground this first hand account, “It was horrible, I mean I’ve seen some really bad breakdowns in my time but this was just sickening,” he painfully recounted.
“I’ve been to the Simian Mobile Disco a few times before and it’s usually so vibrant, full of life and packed with people enjoying themselves. Seeing it just sitting there in the dark and completely lifeless is something that will haunt me for the rest of my days,” he continued while fighting back tears.
“I did everything I could to resuscitate her, but the best I got was a couple of spluttering engine coughs and a few clouds of dirty black smoke from the exhaust. It was too late when I got there, there was nothing I could do. Nothing!” he screamed while bursting into hysterical fits of tears.
The disco, which was towed to Royal Leamington Spa late last night, has been laid at rest in the yard of Derek’s Towing & Automobile Repairs where it will be stored until funeral arrangements for the modified flat bed truck have been finalised.
Rumours of a conversion to an industry standard, stationary disco have been quickly quashed with James and Jas insisting that they “just want to move on with [their] lives”. It is now believed that the late mobile disco will be sold for scrap to the highest bidder.
