A young Scottish man has given up his party animal lifestyle and devoted his life to becoming a monk after a visit to Devon’s Buckfast Abbey.
Glasweigan Arthur Patterson, recently appointed a novice of Buckfast Abbey, spoke of his decision, “It was a really tough choice for me to come here and start my training as a monk,” he said. “I’m not even a Catholic, I was brought up Protestant so I’m turning my back on my own religion and my family, that’s quite a big deal for a lad from Glasgow,” he said downheartedly. “But to be honest, what’s more important in life? Religion, family and friends or Buckfast? For me, it’s Buckfast.”
“My life just needed a little bit of direction. I’ve spent the last twelve years drinking, fighting and taking drugs. Something had to change or I would have ended up in prison or even worse, Aberdeen. I’m just glad to have something I can finally devote myself too,” claimed the newly appointed novice.
“Before I left Glasgow all of my friends were asking me questions like, ‘why become a monk when you don’t even go to church?’ but it’s simple, I’m not devoting myself to God. I’m devoting myself to Buckfast. I already drink what is considered a medically dangerous amount of the stuff every weekend but now I can get tanked up in a safe, quiet environment,” he said with a smile. “I’m a man of the cloth now and I mean to take my vows and sacraments seriously,” he asserted while sucking his tonic-wine soaked cloth vestments.
“I couldn’t believe it when I visited the Abbey for the first time. There are literally giant vats of Buckfast all over the place!” he commented enthusiastically. “I got drunk just looking at the massive vats of liquid gold. As soon as I stepped foot inside the place I knew that this was where I would spend the rest of my days. It’s like God spoke to me. Only between you and me I don’t really believe in any of that nonsense and the voice that I heard may have been my own,” he whispered with a cheeky grin.
“The rest of the monks are total pushovers too. I’ve only been here a week and I’ve already won about four fights, it could have been more but to be honest with you I can’t really remember because I was so pisshed,” he joked. “They don’t fight back or scream or anything. I can pretty much do whatever I want around here. Now I know how viking invaders, Nazis or the police must feel. I don’t know why I didn’t come here years ago” declared Mr. Patterson, pictured above with his now ex-girlfriend during his first visit to Buckfast Abbey.
