A study carried out by the International Addictions Association has revealed that Facebook is now more addictive than heroin or crack cocaine.
Expert are now warning that an epidemic of Facebook addiction could sweep the entire world as more and more people sign up to the social network. Increased Facebook usage in the work place could result in major disputations across all sectors causing unknown damage to world economics.
Mike Harford, a former Facebook addict who looks just like a normal bloke and could easily live on your road, spoke to Wunderground about his ongoing battle with social media addiction, “Like most Facebook addicts I started off on gateway social networks like Bebo and MySpace but it didn’t take long for me to progress onto full blown Facebook use.”
“I was using Facebook for anything between fifteen and twenty hours a day. At one point I had ten different profiles set up,” recounted Mr. Harford. “Of the ten profiles about seven were used purely for wanking purposes while the other three were for more normal activities like posting pictures on my dinner, trolling and saying I’d go to events that I had absolutely no intention of going to.”
“I always had Facebook on my mind, when I was working I had a constant incognito tab open with one of my profiles on it. When I was traveling on a bus or train I found myself glued to my phone rather than judging my fellow commuters because they had their iPods turned up too loud or they were chewing gum with their mouth open,” continued Mt. Harford. “Even when I was having sex with my wife I’d find myself logging on to see if it was my shot in Scrabble or any of my plants needed watering on Farmville.”
“I always thought I had it under control but it turned out that it was really controlling me,” admitted the former addict. “The only way I was able to beat my Facebook addiction was by spending six months in a North Korean bootcamp where the closest thing to Facebook was a picture of Kim Jong-un in a pair of Bermuda shorts holding an apple. Now I’m clean and I want to help highlight how serious a social media addiction can be.”
If anyone has been affected by any of the issues highlighted in this post please seek medical assistance immediately or failing that turn your computer off and get a life.
