Italian electronic music artist Flashmob has officially been declared a great producer, an even better DJ but a fucking awful flashmob.
The news, which broke in Dublin today just hours before Flashmob’s eagerly awaited show in the city’s Button Factory nightclub, will be a shock to many people who were expecting an impromptu choreographed art installation by anything up to fifty people at the show.
Club manager David Spring spoke to Wunderground earlier. “The guy’s a great DJ and an even better producer but one thing you’re definitely not going to get out of Flashmob is a flashmob.”
“Personally I’m quite happy that he doesn’t go in for any of those sort of shenanigans,” continued Mr. Spring. “We’re paying him a fee to come to the club and play some music. Not to unexpectedly prance around doing some sort of pathetic interpretive dance in aid of some soppy moral injustice. There just isn’t room in the clubbing industry for that sort of carry on.”
“Maybe, when there were two people in Flashmob, they could have done something but really, when it boils down to it, one man can’t make a mob,” he said with certainty. “A one man flashmob, to me, is basically just someone who need urgent psychiatric help.”
Event ticket holder and art student, Jeremy, also spoke about today’s news, “I can’t believe this Flashmob guy isn’t a flashmob. It’s a total bummer, I was expecting a night of spontaneous flashmobs and all I’m going to get is a DJ. I won’t even like him, I’m only into music that other people haven’t even heard and I seriously doubt he’ll be playing any of those. I’ll probably try and sell my ticket now.”
According to event organisers, they are offering full refunds for anyone who was expecting to see an actual flashmob at tonight’s show, however, anyone who takes them up on the offer will be labeled an “idiot” and barred from attending any future shows in the venue.
