A producer who labels his music under the genre future garage has made the audacious claim to be from the future and to have played DJ sets there which no-one from the present has been able to witness or hear.
The young producer, known as Marty McFly, tells Wunderground that his future garage production is so far in the future that those who dwell in the present must wait at least five years until the songs can even be heard.
“Me and my studio assistant, Dr Em Brown, have created garage way ahead of its time” says McFly. “For anyone wanting to hear a beat kick into any of my songs, you’ll have to wait for at least five years due to how far in the future my garage resides.”
“When people talk about people being ahead of their time they don’t know what they’re talking about, I’m literally ahead of my time and yours,” he added claiming that he employs a tactic of thinking fourth dimensionally when crafting his timeless garage sound.
Whilst performing his sets at various points ahead of our time, the 32 year old has described events from the future as “daunting, frightening but healthy for his career.”
“It is true that global warming will screw us over and your average British summer will be hotter than a season in Ibiza,” he continued before warning us that he couldn’t provide too much information regarding the future lest he risk the very structure of the space-time continuum.
However the time travelling producer consolidated international fears by guaranteeing at least one Global Aid concert which takes place in 2055 simultaneously in Philadelphia, London, Beijing and The Neil Armstrong MoonBase Arena and is hosted by the “Fucking Hologram of Bob Geldof™“.
“Those of us that are lucky enough to be around until the mid-century will be able to witness my headline set at Global Aid,” he claimed, “it will be the final point at which my many future fans can hear my future garage before it becomes present garage.”
As well as the charity concert, Marty McFly has requested to be shortlisted for the 2018 Mercury Prize, he expects to be shunned by hipsters for being “too mainstream” in 2020 and is due to divorce future wife Cara Delvinge in 2030.
I know this dJ. We’ve done back to back dJ battles before under the EDM dJ name TwoFLY. Hes kinda a big deal.. Just not today. ps I am NOT the father.
Dang, that’s so future, to claim you’re from the future. Such innovation.